Cannock Chase Post - Views & Blogs - Mike Lockley

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10/07/10--02:28: Pope visits Mike's village (chan 3110362)

“Last time I go to one of their gigs,” moaned Colin.




10/07/10--06:47: Mike panics over looming old age (chan 3110362)

News men are still sexy at 55 has done nothing to ease the dark depression over impending old age.




11/10/10--06:05: Age concerns at Chateau Lockley (chan 3110362)

My wife has announced we are at an age where ‘we should be doing things’. “We could be dead tomorrow,” she warned darkly.




11/17/10--07:14: Chateau Lockley hit by festive fever (chan 3110362)

Is this a seasonal record?




11/24/10--07:45: Mike marks Remembrance Sunday (chan 3110362)

In the theatre of war, our village’s fathers and forefathers have been little more than extras and bit-part players.




12/03/10--05:56: Mike refuses to be charitable - even for the kids (chan 3110362)

On reflection, I regret screaming, ‘Children In Need, stay in need’ to the woman in the Pudsey outfit clutching a yellow bucket.




12/09/10--02:29: Mike exposes his village (chan 3110362)

We have but four shopkeepers in our parish.




12/16/10--02:18: Cannock's MP takes on Mike's column (chan 3110362)

This column is usually reserved for an intimate update on Mike Lockley’s wife. Well today we turn the tables!




02/24/11--02:23: Police cutbacks hit Mike's village (chan 3110362)

The good news is we will, despite sweeping police cut-backs, retain the services of our village bobby.




03/03/11--02:45: Mike's passport woes (chan 3110362)

The third attempt to renew my passport has again fallen foul of bureaucrats.




03/10/11--02:45: Travellers move into Mike's parish (chan 3110362)

Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I have nothing against gypsies.




03/23/11--05:55: Mike enlisted to help clear late father-in law's home (chan 3110362)

“If you could just take it a little more gently around corners,” I shouted in the darkness, my clammy hands digging ever tighter into the leather chair.




03/24/11--02:44: Mike is forced to endure public transport (chan 3110362)

The peculiar thing about our public transport system is, no matter what time of day, someone always tries to board a bus clutching a can of lager.




03/31/11--04:38: Mike remensices on housework woes (chan 3110362)

In 1991, I was tasked - one of my few household tasks, admittedly - with retrieving cleansed laundry from the bowels of our washing machine and hanging it out.




04/07/11--01:26: Mike's boiler packs up (chan 3110362)

For some weeks, our boiler gave off an asthmatic wheezing sound akin to a death rattle. I ignored it.




04/28/11--01:49: Mike jets off to Egypt (chan 3110362)

I intend to go ‘native’ during next week’s holiday in Egypt.




05/27/11--02:43: Mike inundated with death threats (chan 3110362)

“I cannot believe,” I sighed, staring at the mound of hate-mail spread over the kitchen table, “that passions have run so high over a children’s football team.”




06/30/11--06:57: Chateau Lockley hit by bin boycott (chan 3110362)

Refuse collectors have boycotted our green bin – for garden waste – this week.




09/08/11--03:56: Mike wages war on nature (chan 3110362)

According to wildlife guru - or is that gnu? - David Attenborough there’s no such thing as a bad animal.




10/06/11--04:06: Mike's saddened over parish's professional panto production (chan 3110362)

Deeply saddened by the village hall committee’s decision to employ a professional panto production company this Christmas.